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But I wa-hant them!

July 21st, 2008 at 04:56 pm

Happy Monday!

Someone yesterday asked what recipe I use for my veggie Sloppy Joes ... basically I throw black beans, onions, garlic, bell peppers, and jalapeno together, then mix with crushed tomatoes, Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar. I mash it all up just a little so it will stick, then wrap it all up. Yum ...

Today was eventful at work. I may or may not have big news relating to my career in the near future ... so stay tuned! As it is, I don't want to get ahead of myself. (The worst is when you get all excited, and then something doesn't pan out, or it's just not as good as you thought it would be!)

The entry title pertains to this gorgeous pair of red shoes that Target is selling. They're $32.99 ... yikes. I'm watching them like a hawk to go to clearance. I *think* they're for the new fall season, so they should go on true clearance sometime around or after Christmas, and usually I get Target gift cards from family members. (I have a horrible weakness for Target.)

What angers me about my debt is that it's just so STUPID. If I weren't in debt, I could be doing the obvious ... saving. Not only that, but I would have room to breathe easier, and do OTHER things that I need/want to do ... save, pay bills (I always pay my bills, but it would be nice to not have to worry about credit cards!), build a more professional wardrobe, save for a down payment on a condo in a location I want, and even do what I really, really want to do with my life ... travel.

But until I get out of the red, I'll never be able to truly control my financial life ... or never get IN to the red [shoes.] :-/

Truth is, I can't do ANY of the above (except save, of course), until I emerge from CC debt.

I'm glad I realized this at ONLY $9K (as bad as it is, I know there are so many people much worse off), but what's so mortifying is that this isn't me. My parents never carried debt. We shopped clearance bins, dollar stores. Mom literally can save HUNDREDS of dollars on grocery bills. They got me a credit card with a $500 limit when I went to college for EMERGENCIES ... they watched the statements like a hawk, and I had to pay every penny back if I used it ... I rarely did.

It was when I got out of college and got my first real taste of life outside of parental boundaries did I start getting into trouble. This is also when the whole mess with my mom and her health problems started. But none of that is an excuse, it's just that I feel so, so STUPID to let this happen. To let this get so far. Because that's the thing ... I know better, I've always known better, I was raised better than this.

*sigh* I think the real key here is not escape my responsibility, but to stop beating myself up over it. Not because I don't deserve it, but because it doesn't really help the situation, does it?

Oh, almost forgot - I should have a status update on reducing my debt soon, too. Making a few payments, selling a few things on Amazon ... that sort of thing.

2 Responses to “But I wa-hant them!”

  1. sounderella Says:

    You are right it's good you've decided to make a change now. 9K should be easy to get rid of especially if your doing the amazon thing. Don't be too hard on yourself. I too was hard on myself. Even DH and I would get it fights to place the blame on each other....but in the end, it was just as much my fault as it was his and really there was no need to place blame. The fact is there's debt and you just need to take care of it and learn. Smile

  2. pjmama Says:

    Man, I feel the same way. It's so obnoxios to me that I'm so in debt that I cant really be saving. Or buying anything. I haven't gone shopping in a couple months... I'm really proud of myself. Even the little things here and there have dwindled down. It is good that you realized it at 9k. I wish my debt was only that much... haha. Silly school is so expensive!

    Good luck! I'm doing the amazon thing too Smile

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