One of the realizations that I've been struggling with lately is that I love to shop. I'm a spender, not a saver. I love clothes. I love shoes. I love books. I love eating out. I love going to concerts. I just love using my money to get me things that I want.
I'm at that point when I'm realizing that enjoying my money doesn't mean that I can't save, and it should never mean that I go into debt. If I were responsible with my money to begin with, I'd probably be able to feel a lot more relaxed NOW. I would have a comfortable amount in savings. I wouldn't be in debt. I would get rid of any guilt I feel when spending money now, even if it's for a true necessity like toilet paper. I might even feel comfortable enough to spring for that red pair of shoes I talked about so long ago. (I really, really want them!)
And even though I am in debt, I don't think I should feel guilty for spending money. Now, if I were going on wild, crazy shopping sprees and continuing to use my credit cards, THEN I think I should be feeling guilty. But if I have an extra $5 ... it could go to pay off the debt faster. And usually, now, it does. But it could also go to a cheap bottle of wine ($2.99, Trader Joes!) and a DVD rental. It could go to buy fresh mozzarella. Some new eyeshadow.
My point is that I'm feeling incredibly guilty with every dollar I spend ... even if the money is going to debt payment! I want to hoard, hoard, hoard ... dollars. Every penny out is becoming an endless source of guilt ... whether it's a $5 lunch out with my co-workers or $65 for an electric bill.
But, even with my excessive debt, that doesn't make me a bad person. And that doesn't mean I should feel guilty that not absolutely every single penny is either going to credit cards or savings. I mean, come on. I have rent to make. I have to eat. On a more superficial note, I have to look somewhat professional in my career.
So ... my latest struggle is learning to not only accept but embrace the fact that yes, I do like to shop and that I am going to spend money in the future ... but I have to do it while managing my budget and savings at the same time. I cannot allow myself to get into credit card debt again. But I can allow myself to allow my money to let me do things I enjoy.
So what about you? Spender or saver? A bit of both?
Permission to spend ... granted?
August 6th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
August 7th, 2008 at 12:49 am 1218070175
August 7th, 2008 at 01:15 am 1218071750
That said, I do like to spend. I think it has something to do with working so hard, and doing so much with school and extra-curricularly... I felt like buying myself something that I wanted was a type of reward or release.
Now we're trying to fight our way out of debt, and I've realized that I have to be able to spend a LITTLE money every once in a while, or I end up "binging" by spending alot at once.
August 7th, 2008 at 02:39 am 1218076784
August 7th, 2008 at 05:29 am 1218086973
August 7th, 2008 at 01:04 pm 1218114282
August 7th, 2008 at 02:32 pm 1218119554
I did scare my wife when I said that I was going to buy a ferrari when I turn 40. But will probably settle for a new watch.
August 7th, 2008 at 03:05 pm 1218121522